Wednesday, January 18, 2006
Specimen L
Duration of observation : six earth hours
I am writing this shortly after a very detailed observation of one of my many (live) specimens of the human race. As you may(or may not) have noticed, the specimen in question is L. Specimen L has earned herself special mention in my log due to the subject exhibiting two unusual, astonishing traits that are absent from the majority of the human populace.
Method of containment
Facilities provided in containment unit:
Waste disposal unit
Matter replicator(disguised as a human food storage device, or what they call a refrigerator)
Observation unit(speakers included to allow specimen to hear orders/verbal stimuli)
Before I begin listing the traits, Let it be known that the observation was done in the relative safety of my lab. Specimen L was never in close proximity with me. Rather, I have observed her (and conversed, to a certain extent) through a certain sort of extremely primitive (for lack of better word) holography projection. Such an arrangement not only ensures my safety from any contaminants that the subject most definitely carries(as do all humans), but also allows me to get a rather good view of the subject, thus allowing me to better gauge the subject's response to certain stimulants. The subject once again proves that the human populace is, in general, greedy and moronic. I was able to lure L into a containment chamber simply by placing several small containers of scented, mild sedatives in the chamber, then locating the specimen. After a short conversation, the specimen was led to believe that there were "free samples" of a certain brand of scented liquid that humans call "perfume". Before I could finish my conversation, L had already managed to procure a form of transport to deliver us to the containment chamber. Upon arrival, the specimen immediately entered the chamber in search of the "free samples". Once L opened the containers and proceeded to inhale the sedative, it was but a simple matter to keep her contained in the chamber. So pacified was L that I did not even have to seal up the chamber before proceeding back to my lab, to commence with the observations.
Method of Observation
The specimen is, for the most part, left to her own devices. Occasionally, she will be asked several questions, or simply receive comments about herself. However, such interactions between myself and the specimen is kept to a minimum, as the true purpose of this observation is to simply observe a member of the humans when isolated and left to their own devices.
Appetite
Specimen L has demonstrated an astonishingly large, nay, enormous appetite for one of her kind (and size). During the course of the observation itself, L managed to devour an amount of food approximately three times her own body mass. So fascinated was I by her appetite, that I failed to make a proper record of the food she consumed. As to such, I am forced to rely on my memory in order to make a list of food eaten by L during the course of the observation. Keep in mind that the items listed below are but a mere fraction of the total amount of food devoured by Specimen L.
Four pieces of toasted carbohydrate boards
One small container of long, curly carbohydrate strips(I believe humans call it noodles)
Assorted pieces of dark brown, solid glucose and fat boards
Two standard human meals comprising of a large stack of carbohydrate beads, chunks of protein sponges and thin strips that are mostly made up of fiber
Twelve to fifteen pieces of dry, powdery carbohydrate solids(humans call them biscuits)
Up to six cups of warm, glucose liquid
Stability
Specimen L seems to have a distinctive disability to remain still for even the shortest amount of time. Throughout the course of the observation, L continually displays signs of unrest, though I was unable to detect any signs of distress or discomfort in her. L would frequently begin humming to herself for no apparent reason. This often occurs after the specimen has consumed some food, or has been exposed to a verbal stimuli that she appears to enjoy. I believe the purposeless humming that L generates is, perhaps, a certain form of expression. In this case, she wishes to express the fact that she is satisfied, or is feeling pleasant. Similarly, L would frequently move herself away from the observation unit, and proceed to wander around the containment chamber. Note that the specimen only wonders around the chamber, it makes no attempt whatsoever to escape or break out of the containment chamber. When L is doing neither of the above mentioned, she will simply sit infront of the observation unit, and proceed to sway about, at the same time fidgeting with anything and everything, in no particular order.
Conclusion
I believe the two distinctive traits of L are interlinked to one another in a form of cycle. While I am not sure which particular trait surfaced first, I am sure that either one of them must have been present before the other. For example, Specimen L could have been born with the latter condition, which is the lack of the ability to remain still. This would have no doubt increased the metabolism rate of L, as more energy is needed to perform the constant acts of unrest. Due to the immense amount energy needed, the specimen's mind naturally instructs the body to take in a larger amount of food in order to sustain the constant fidgeting. Or perhaps it is the fact that L consumes so much food, there is too much energy stored up inside the specimen at any time. Hence, the subject is constantly, subconsciously forced to fidget and hum in order to burn off all the excess energy that the body possesses. Either way, it is a vicious cycle which I doubt L would be able to break out of, at least not with a considerable amount of external aid.
That concludes the log entry for the day.
Note to self: Extract Specimen L from the containment chamber as soon as possible, to prevent her from being too attached to the chamber. It is, after all, much more hospitable than what passes as dwellings for these humans.
11:58 PM
Monday, November 21, 2005
The social hierarchy of the human race: yet another ridiculous enigma
It has been quite some time since I last attempted to enlighten your species. The process has been... Frustrating, to say the least. All my attempts to educate your race have been met with skepticism and disbelief. More often than not, the attempts end with me walking away, in order to contain my overwhelming urge to rip out that piece of flesh sandwiched in-between your ugly, primitive jaws. After a small period of isolation for me to calm my mind, I am once again prepared to continue with my task of enlightening your species.
As you may (or may not) have seen from the heading, the topic of the day will be on the social hierarchy of your race. As you no doubt know by now, your race consists of two genders, the male and the female. Upon careful analysis, I have concluded that the female is superior, in almost every aspect, to the male. Yet, the human race, with its perplexing sense of reasoning, places the male species at the top of the social hierarchy ladder. Before I continue, let us first examine both genders.
The Human Body
The typical specimen has four limbs, two of which are more adept at manipulating objects, and two of which are more adept at functioning as a means of transportation for the main bulk of the body. The body consists of a main component, in which the species' internal organs, such as the lungs and heart, are stored. The limbs which manipulate objects are attached to the upper edges of the body, while the ones that serve as a form of transportation are attached to the lower edges of the body. Note, however, that the entire bulk of the body is supported and balanced only by two limbs. This causes the species to be typically unable to maintain a good balance. This fundamental flaw has further reinforced what many of us belief : The human race did not evolve naturally as other creatures on Earth did. They are a form of mutation, an evolution anomaly. However, that is not the focus of this session, and as to such, I will leave that matter to another time. Attached to the body, in-between the two limbs which are attached to the upper edges of the body, is the head.(For information on the head, refer to the post made on Friday, August 6, 2004.)
The Female
The female of this species typically has a slender body frame, as opposed to the typical male's fleshier, bulkier build. This slimmer, more compact build allows the female to perform physical feats with more grace and precision than the male counterpart. The female is also typically swifter and more agile than the male. The most obvious flaw of the female body is the lack of muscle mass, which has a rather large impact on the gender's strength, and also makes the female considerably more fragile. Another glaring fault of the female body is the two mamillas that are positioned on the upper half of the female's body. The mamillas vary in size for different specimens, but studies have shown that, the bigger the mamillas, the more effect it has on impairing the movements of the specimen. However, this fault can be rectified, to a certain extent, by wearing pieces of restrictive clothing that reduce the movement impairing effects of the mamillas.Extensive studies and personal encounters have also led me to believe that the female is generally smarter and sharper than the male. It is troublesome for me to post all of my experiences which led to my eventual conclusion. However, I believe it is sufficient to say that the bad habits practiced by the males, such as participating in high impact, brain damaging sports, and a general tendency to behave more crudely, are part of the reason for the male's reduced mental capabilities.
The male
The male of this species has physical characteristics that are similar to the female specimens, apart from the absence of the mamillas, and the presence of an exposed set of organs responsible for reproduction. These are located on the body, in-between the two limbs that function as transportation. It is my belief that this set of organs have a greater impact on the physical capabilities of the male, even more so than the mamillas of the females. Through several experiments and certain recorded footage, I have concluded that a small amount of force, when applied to the exposed reproduction organs of a male, while effectively incapacitate the specimen for an amount of time.( the actual length of incapacitation depends on the force applied. A larger force equals a longer incapacitation time.) The negative effect of the male reproduction organs can be lessened considerably by wearing a form of protective armor around the reproductive organs, which will lessen any forced applied to the aforementioned organs by a rather large amount. As previously mentioned, the male is typically bulkier and more muscularly built. This allows them to endure a larger amount of physical damage, and it also grants them greater physical strength.The mental capabilities of the typical male are more restricted, as compared to the female. Males exhibit more primitive traits and habits, most of which are rather crude and crass. The possible reason for such behavior has already been listed above, under "the female" section. While some may argue that the more prominent thinkers of the human race are, for the majority, males, I believe that there is a perfectly logical explanation for it, and that is lack of opportunity.
Suppression
For the greater part of the human history, the females have been suppressed, their views ignored by the male population, their attempts to think crushed. The females have been told that they do not have a say in most matters, that intelligence is the downfall of a female. It is only recently that the females have begun to break out of their mold, to rebel against the male suppression.
Correcting the Social Hierarchy
It is puzzling that the inferior gender, the males, are at the top of the social hierarchy. For every species that is known to us, the superior gender is at the top of the social hierarchy. However, such is not the case with you humans. While it is obvious that the females are beginning a painfully slow push towards the top of the social hierarchy, the males are still the dominant gender.
With sufficient time, the social hierarchy will be corrected and rightly dominated by females. However, time is running out for the human species, and I do not think that the "hierarchy revolution" will occur soon enough to make a difference to...Well, anything, for that matter. The contamination is spreading every second. Your race is doomed. Make good use of whatever time you have left, and hope that small number of humans that are immune to the contamination are fertile enough to ensure the survival of your species.
12:33 AM
Wednesday, April 13, 2005
The coming of the Emperor
The First Time
In the First Time, the first of our kind, the Me'rin Sha, where born. Nothing more than basic tool users, the Mer'in Sha had to depend on their heightened senses and vastly superior intelligence to survive on Gahrak, the First Homeworld. Gahrak was a lush planet filled with all sorts of flora and fauna, very much like Earth is. On this mineral rich planet, the Mer'in Sha thrived, and in a matter of a few thousand years, the first major cities appeared on the face of Gahrak. Within another thousand years, space travel was made possible. Eager to satiate their unquenchable thirst for knowledge, our kind took off to the stars, all the while inventing better, more efficient ways of carrying our kind across the galaxy. Then came the Second Time. The fall of Gahrak.
The Second Time
At the beginning of the Second Time, the first Horak'Va class ships were built. These massive ships were designed to be self sufficient, and had enough space to comfortably house thousands of Gahraks, while they went about their daily business. A handful of Horak'Va ships were launched, each fully equipped and fully staffed with thousands of our kind. More of the same ships were being outfitted at the space stations that orbited Gahrak. Sadly, none of the remaining Horak'Va ships managed to leave the space stations.
Roughly around the same period of time as the luanch of the Horak'Va ships, a virus struck our kind. Although the Gahraks were brilliant in all fields of science, they were unable to find a cure for the rapidly mutating virus. Investigations revealed that the virus had originated from one of the ships that had returned froma mining trip on an unidentified planet. The consequeces of the infection was disasterious. Those that were infected slowly lost their sanity, and the virus, coupled with the Mer'in Shas' heightened senses and emotions, drove them wild with fury and madness. The infected began wiping out the population of Gahrak. In a matter of months, the situation had evolved into a civil war between the infected mutants and the remaining untouched Mer'in Sha. In the Mer'in Sha's darkest hour, a becon of light shone upon our kind in the form of the immortal Emperor, the Master of Mer'in Sha.
Even among the Mer'in Sha, the Emperor is an ancient being, for he had been living amongst our kind for many millennia. He is the greatest Psychic of all, for his immortality has allowed him to fully develop his abilities, and to make full use of his almost bottomless repository of Psychic energy. Long has he been living in secrecy, waiting for the day when the Mer'in Sha needed a guide, a seer to steer them away from total annihilation. With the situation of the infection running out of control amongst the Mer'in Sha, the Emperor finally revealed his true identity, and set about to rescue all he could, and to put an end to the suffering of the infected.
With his vast Psychic powers, the Emperor rallied all remaining uninfected Mer'in Sha around the only bastion of hope on Gahrak: the great Hark'dok Space Port. At that time, a great, mighty Flagship was being built, one with great destructive potential. The Master of Mer'in Sha knew that the completion of the flagship was needed for his plan to work, and so all the untainted fortified and barricaded themselves in Hark'dok, hoping to set up a last line of defense against the maddened infected.
Weeks passed, and with his will, the Emperor gave the untainted Mer'in Sha the determination to stand fast in the face of the hideous mutants. However, the defenders' numbers dwindled each day, and just as it seemed that the space port would be over taken, the Flagship was finally completed. With the Emperor on board, the Flagship took off into space, just as the infected swarmed over Hark'dok. As soon as the Flagship was in space, the Emperor gave orders to maneuver the ship's immense cannon into position. When the cannon was repositioned, the order was given and the cannon unleashed its beam of destruction upon Gahrak. The result was horrifying, as the entire tainted planet ruptured in a blinding flash of crimson. However, the magnitude of the explosion was so great that the surrounding space stations were utterly destroyed, together with the remaining unfinished Horak'Va ships. Even the Flagship was badly crippled by the blast. But despite these great losses, the Emperor has managed to stop the infection from spreading. The first Exterminatus had been carried out.
With the carnage behind them, the Emperor set about to contact all remaining Horak'Va ships. Although the communication systems abroad the Flagship was damaged beyond repair, the Emperor managed to contact the Horak'Va ships by using his sheer Psychic abilities to channel his will across the vast expanse of space. The ships were instructed to proceed towards an untainted planet that was closest to the Flagship. Once the orders were given out, the Flagship itself limped towards the planet, held together solely by the Emperor's Psychic might. Painfully slow days passed before the Flagship arrived at its destination, to find the Horak'Va ships already orbiting the untainted planet: Mars, our Second Homeworld.
The Third Time
After preliminary analysis of the planet had shown the presence of huge underground caverns, the Mer'in Sha got to work straight away, costructing a new life beneath the red planet. Withtin a hundred years, a new metropolis was created in the towering, vast caverns. With an established society, we once again took to space, this time with the Psychic guiding hand of the Emperor. Not only do we seek knowledge, we also seek to aid any lesser sentient species that we came across.
Earth and its Humans
Two Millenia ago, our kind found Earth, a planet not unlike Gahrak. Here there was a sentient race already developing, one that called themselves Humans. So as to not interfere with the race's evolution, we have refused to interfere with their lives, observing their progress in secrecy. However, we have detected a strain of the foul virus here, on Earth. It has affected most of the Human populace, but it does not have the adverse effects on this race as it did on ours( due to the fact that Humans lack the heightened senses of our kind). There is a growing concern aomgst the High council, and indeed even the Emperor himself, on this contamination of Earth. The Master of Mer'in Sha has descended amongst the Humans in hopes of finding a cure for the Humans. However, if he is unable to find a solution to this problem, then an Exterminatus will have to be carried out on Earth. We will not risk contamination again.
7:51 PM
Monday, March 14, 2005
It has been several weeks, since I last enlightened you savages on your hopelessness, and during the few weeks of absence, I have continued to walk amongst your pathetic kind, watching you, studying you...Judging you. And I must say that what I have seen truly troubled me, for it now seemed that the Exterminatus, the Great Cleansing of planet SS-0003, YOUR planet, could not come soon enough. Your civilisation is plagued by decay, corruption, deceit and guilt. Everywhere I look, I see how deeply this plague has been entrenched into your minds.
I have heard and read of incidents where you humans have stolen from one another, committed petty crimes over small, insignificant matters. As a matter of fact, one such crime happened just a few days ago, at a human learning establishment. I will not elaborate on the incident, though suffice to say, I am DISGUSTED at this unacceptable behavior... And this is but one of many other crimes that you humans have committed over the years.
Do you not feel ashamed of your crimes? Do you not seek redemption? Well, I am here to tell you: There is NO redemption for your kind! You have doomed yourself to this fate, and you have only yourselves to blame! Be grateful that we are wasting our energy and efforts to purge your filthy bodies off this otherwise magnificent planet. There are some amongst your kind who have been enlightened...These are the ones who are trying to redeem whatever is left of your pathetic lives...Perhaps if the majority of you listen more attentively to what they are saying, we might change our minds and exact a lighter punishment on your species. But until you have redeemed youselves, we will carry on with the preparation of the Exterminatus. That is all for today.
7:14 PM
Wednesday, January 26, 2005
I will now allow you, the primitive human, to take a brief glance into one of my daily interrogation sessions with your fellow humans. In order to satiate your irritating curiosity, I will explain the purpose of my interrogation sessions.
In order to gather certain information that only a more...Practical approach with the specimen can provide. During these sessions, we(that refers to me and my fellow Martians, and yes, I am NOT alone) conduct experiments to test the limits of human capabilities. It is...Hard for me to explain it. Let me upload one of my recorded sessions for all of you to read(note that it is in a form of what you humans call a script, so as to allow you to better grasp the conversation). To make things even simpler for your limited intelligence to handle, keep in mind that what
I (or my fellow Martians) say will be in this font(the current one that your reading) while the specimen's will be in Italic. Let us begin, then.
Have you had enough rest?
ugggghh...
I'll take that as a primitive form of "yes". Now... For today,we are going to test the tolerance of the human body...Against pain.
Wahh? Who...What are you? Where am I?
Those questions will be answered later...If you cooperate with us on this experiment.
Wait...This is a joke, right? Alright Dick, cut it out...It ain't funny no more...You're freaking me out!
Now, where should I begin...Hmmm.... Ah yes, let's start with the largest portion of the body...What do they call it? Ah yes, the torso. Sliii'thrak, hand me the kreedal.
Hey! I'm warning you Dick! Stop it! You come any closer with that blade, and I'll...I'll...
Tell me, what would you do? You're bound to the table...Your feeble body will not even be able to weaken the restraints, let along break free...Now lie still, it's horribly hard to cut properly when you fidget.
Hey cut the crap and let me out! I'm giving you the last chance! Let me ouAAARRRRGGHHHH GOD NO!!!! WWWWWWWWWWWARRRRGHHHHH!!!! STOP!!! PLEASE!!! I BEG OF U...HHHHAARRRGGGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!
Hmm...Interesting. Let it rest for awhile. See how it reacts to the pain.
*sob* Please...*sob* No more...Whoever *sob* you are...Let me go...Just please, let me *sob* go...I'll *sob* do whatever you want...
Fascinating! Observe how the specimen changes its attitude so quickly! Intriguing...Let's move on to a more sensitive part...Hmm...Ah yes, the eyes! Than'krik, the brikrijag, if you will.
NO! PLEASE! NOT THE EYES! ANYTHING BUT THE EYES! PPLLEASEE!!!!
There now, you won't feel anything at all...
ARRGRGHHH!!! ARRGHH!!!! FUCK AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHRRR!!! AAAAHHHHHHRRRRRGGGGGGHHHH!!!!! GGAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!.........
Hmm...Seems the subjects has passed out from the pain. So...That is the limit to the body's tolerance...I must get more specimens...Maybe others will last longer. Kragnahal (that's the ship's mainframe control unit) clean up on table 2.
And with that, another session is over. It is simply amazing...Ah well, that will be all for now. Check back soon.
4:55 PM
Tuesday, December 07, 2004
Greetings, earthling. I have decided to cease my dissection of the pathetic human body for the time being. Instead, I will bestow upon your degenerate race this wise and enlightening poem, written to allow your race to have a greater glimpse of your equally pathetic ancestors. All you have to keep in mind is that the poem depicts a Celtic king and his loyal subjects and friends having a meal. And so, without further delay, I give you the poem.
The king was in his feasting house
Waiting to be crowned.
They killed a white horse, cut it up,
And stirred it round and round
inside a cauldron great and deep
All filled with water, hot.
They ate the horse meat, not the bones,
Until they'd scoffed the lot.
The king stood up, and then he cried,
'My friends! It's time we paddled!'
The king's friends all took off their clothes
And jumped into the pot!
They splashed about in bones and soup,
And see how clean they got!
And when they all had washed and scrubbed,
They jump back out again.
They drank the horse soup, every drop
Until the pot was drained.
I hope that has helped you people to further understand your ancestors and their way of life. That will be all for today.
10:08 PM
Friday, August 06, 2004
Scanning for Human flaws classified under physical......
132 classifications found under subject "flaws (physical)"......
Filtering out major flaws......
13 flaws(Major) found......
List?......(Y/N)
Listing in progress.Please wait......
......
......
Listing complete.
Again, you just saw another transmission from the mothership. As i have promised quite some time ago, I will attempt to list down every major flaw that you humans have.(there's simply too many flaws for me to list down everything) For the sake of your pathetically useless peices of fat(what you humans call your brain) i will attempt to number these major flaws individually, just so that your pea sized eyes(a pea is some sort of green round food that u humans consume. Needless to say, it is incredibly small. Just incase there's some ridiculously moronic humans who don't even know what a pea is)are able to cram all this information into your aforementioned "brain" without too much trouble. Let us begin with the listing.
1. The head
Let us begin with the most important part of the human body. The head itself contains quite a few flaws. Firstly, I'd like to point out the eyes. Humans have their eyes located at the front of their head, and it is only protected by a thin piece of retractable skin known as eyelids. The eyelids can do nothing more than to protect the fragile eyes from liquids and possibly some small debris. Obviously, it is an extremely illogical design, and we Martians do not understand why almost the whole of Earth's creatures have such a ridiculous thing to protect one of their most important parts of their body. Of course, I understand how some of you humans are going to argue about how we are supposed to see if our eyes are not exposed in some way or another. Since your species is about to be annihilated anyway, I don't mind telling you about how we protect such a valuable part of our body. We keep our eyes in our mouth. In order to see, we can open our mouths and viola! We have a perfect view of everything within a 270 degree radius. Anyways, we can mentally sense most things (bodies that give off heat, for instance) so we only use our eyes at the most crucial moments. Hopefully, this little bit of advice will help you to see how pathetic and flawed your evolution has been.
I believe that your simple brain will only be able to comprehand so much information today. As to such, I will leave you humans to think about what I've just said about your eyes. Look out for the next physical flaw sometime soon.Open your pathetic eyes.
6:42 PM
